Sunshine! And the month of hope...

We've actually had some sunshine the last few days.  And is it ever wonderful!  Yesterday was in the fifties.  It looked good.  It smelled good.  It felt good.  A friend says February is the month of hope; it indeed seems to bringing good things along with it.  Starting today instead of tomorrow.  Yippee!

Even a little cheating can do damage to a weight loss plan.  I can blame no one but myself.  I chose to make pastries for church; and then I chose to eat some.  And then I chose to make pizza for dinner and had two pieces (instead of the just the one I told myself I could have).  They seemed like such tiny transgressions.  I could hardly believe that I'd only dropped 4 ounces in a week.  And Becky says that whole, "muscle weighs more than fat" thing just doesn't cut the mustard.  Which led to discussions on interval training, stretching, and a few new machines at the gym.  Sigh.

We had some good news regarding my husband's claim for health problems as a result of working near chemicals.  He is finally receiving some compensation for the damage done to his lungs and respiratory system.  I'm hoping he will be able to put some the pain and frustration with the "system" behind him now.  That would be a blessing!

So in the midst of winter, sun.  In the midst of disappointment, a ray of hope.  In the midst of "too much going on", some time for peace and the company of friends.

Life goes on.

Discipline

Discipline, as a word, gets a bad rap much of the time.  And yet, in one sense (that of self-control) it is the way to order our lives, a way to keep ourselves on track.  The "D" word has been in my life a lot lately:  at church, at the gym, in the application to the Academy for Spiritual Formation, in the back of my own mind as I wrestle with daily choices.  (Surely just one piece of shortbread won't hurt...)

Unfortunately, I'm the kind of person that can't eat just one potato chip.  It has to be a gene from my mother!  And splurge I did.  Saturday while I was baking the shortbread for church and Sunday as I passed through the Fellowship Hall where a few pieces of shortbread were left on the table.  Did they taste good?  You betcha!  Were they worth the double splurge?  Probably not.  It helps to bear in mind just how long it takes to burn calories.  So yeah, it was off to the gym this morning.  Where...

Can you believe it?  I was on the stationary bike doing about 10 miles/hour.  A couple bikes down from me was a man (middle ageish, fairly slim) who was peddling away very slowly.  His earphones were on; the tv screen was lit.  As I pondered his (slow) speed I though perhaps he was in recovery from surgery and taking things easy as he got "back into" things.  And then!  He had one of those tiny brown bags from Starbucks in one hand  and was dipping the other hand into the bag, grabbing a bit of brownie, and eating it as he exercised!  My first thought?  Geez, I wish I could exercise like that!
And then I chastised myself for the envy.  I know the realities of my physical fitness and limitations.  I also know the realities of my diet, cholesterol level, and how I feel.

So back to discipline.  I could surely use more in my life and will struggle on toward that goal. 

But would the world be bent out of shape if carrots tasted like chocolate?  Oh well,

life goes on.

CBS Sunday Morning

Whenever I get the chance to watch this show I wish they would broadcast it every day.  It''s informative, entertaining, engaging, and offers positive (!!!!) stories that actually make you feel good.  They also have a marvelous nature moment at the end of each show which is usually totally awesome.  I know this through a friend of mine; we leave for church before the show is over.

It was a mad dash this morning.  We were late getting out of bed so we were rushed and caught only bits and pieces of today's airing.  One story was absolutely marvelous.  A young mother diagnosed with MS, a family struggling financially, and a 9-year-old girl who borrowed money from her grandmother to begin a business.  Four years later the family finances have stabilized and the young lady is now putting her money into her college fund.  So what did she do?  Bought over one hundred hens, got an award for "good chicken farming", and is making over $15,000 a year.  And yes, her chickens live the good life.   It was an amazing experience to see the family's pride in their daughter and just plain amazing that a child of that age would  1) even think of doing something like that; 2) have enough faith in herself to jump into it; and 3) succeed so well.  (Yes, it was mentioned that she had no experience with any type of farming.)

It reminds me that one person can indeed change the world, or at least a small part of the world that they reside in.  And isn't that just cool?

Sometimes life is very, very good.  At any rate,

life goes on.

It could be worse

A few of us have been moaning about the weather here.  We've been in an inversion--which means cloudy and it's been cold, damp, and generally unpleasant.  Then, my stepdaughter living in North Pole, Alaska (yes, you read that right) told me it was 5 below there and the roads were like "K-Y jelly"--snow on top of freezing rain and the snow level up to her knees.  Can I say that I'm thrilled NOT to be there!

It's also 9 degrees in my home town (Michigan) so I will be happy for our coolish, dampish weather for now.  It could be alot worse.

I'm off to a friend's house tomorrow to watch the Australian Open Women's Final.  It will broadcast here at 6 a.m. so we will be enjoying it on her big-screen tv and sipping freshly-brewed coffee.  It's not unusual for me to root for the newby and/or underdog so I'll be sitting on the edge of my seat hoping that Li N manages to pull off an unexpected win.  Sloan Stephens lost in her semi-final; was disappointed at that.

Tennis?  I've enjoyed the sport forever.  When I was growing up our house was on the same "block" ( really four city blocks) as Ferry School (elementary) and the tennis courts were visible from our kitchen window.  I watched a lot of tennis and banged balls against the brick walls at the school.  Back then, tennis was broadcast on regular network television and I watched as much as I possibly could.  Probably drove my family nuts.  But I still enjoy it.  The game has changed immensely, players have come and gone, but the entertainment value is still there for me.  Chris Evert had a cameo role on CSI this week.  I remember idolizing her, of course.  She was one of the greats.

Overslept today but still made it to the gym.  Shrunk the day a bit, but

life goes on.

Unexpected wonders

At a meeting yesterday one of the members offered each of us a memento from her recent vacation to Glacier National Park.  (The group leader has been challenging people to "explain" their absences by bringing things back from their trips.)  At any rate, she had been cross-country skiing for several days and had nothing but excitement and happiness on her face as she described the weather, the scenery, and the experience.  So what was her gift?

A yellow cupcake paper cup to signify the sunny days
With a scrap of blue tissue paper in it to signify the blue skies
A small piece of moss
A small twig of  teeny pine cones
A small piece of fir tree--all items to "share" her experience of being in the woods
A piece of huckleberry taffy to savor the taste of Montana huckleberry

Isn't that just charming?  And there is just a touch of foresty odor to enjoy!

I'm touched by her thoughtfulness, originality, and generous gift of the time used to make these "touchstones" for us.

Pretty neat.

Busy, busy, busy

Life does seem to barrel by at times and it's not easy to settle down and write when energy has been used in some other place.  I've been preparing an application to attend The Academy of Spiritual Formation and it has been challenging.  I want to get in the mail tomorrow; give my three references information they will need to write the letters of recommendation, and wait to hear whether I'm accepted or not.  No idea how long that process will take.

I've also been working on a project for the new class at church.  Prayer cards were on my "to do" list.  This may sound boring to most folks but I like to dabble with projects with that.  I got the printing, measuring, and cutting done and then was blessed to have a good friend help me put them all together.  So they are ready for a meeting tomorrow.  The class begins Wednesday and I'm looking forward to it.

We'll get the results of my husband's tests tomorrow.  And a friend who has been dealing with some issues will have surgery next Monday.  And a firefighter I know from the City of Pasco has been diagnosed with a nasty cancer--at a very young age.  Another friends oldest dog, Stormy, had surgery today for cancer.  There are so many people I ask God to hold close and comfort.  Seems everyone I know has these issues to deal with.  And it seems to get more complicated and more widespread as I get older.

Haven't had much time to watch the Australian Open, but the quality of tennis has been outstanding!  Federer and Djokvic are experiencing some tough new kids and it's just another reminder that all things change...  And in the midst of change,

life goes on.

Sometimes very good, sometimes not!

The good news (I surprised myself!) is that I dropped 2.2 pounds and did not owe my exercise partner $20.  The bad news is that I totally indulged today and ended up in the red on my calorie count.  So the lesson here is that I can eat healthily and not feel deprived...and that rewarding myself for being so good by eating a little extra is a really dumb thing to do.  Dumb, dumb, dumb.  How many times did I watch my mom "finish" up food in the kitchen instead of tossing it out--or making herself a sandwich for a bedtime snack.  At her worst, mom weighed in at nearly two hundred pounds.  My sister was in tears one day when she had measured my mom for a sewing project and discovered that mom was literally as big around as she was tall.  Yes, there's a model of behavior I've tried NOT to follow.

So back to better intentions.  Thank goodness I've finally finished the leftover pasta with pesto sauce and I won't be tempted to indulge in that for awhile!  It's ok once a day--but twice (lunch and dinner) is gilding the lily.

I'm reading a book by Debbie McComber titled "One Simple Act--Discovering the Power of Generosity."  It's a fairly light read from the UMW reading list and packed with great stories, some of the studies done on why being generous is good for us (interesting!), and practical ideas for random acts of kindness.

So my husband and I were out for breakfast recently at a very small, locally owned and fairly new restaurant called Omeletz.  Open only Monday through Friday and only for breakfast and lunch.  The food is all home-cooked and luscious.  And yeah, alot of the menu items are things that should NOT appear on my food diary.  So I stuck with water to drink and ordered the pumpkin oatmeal with a side of just a tiny cinnamon roll.  The cinnamon roll was yummy and worth the indulgence!  The pumpkin oatmeal was good too!

At any rate, we were sitting at a table for four in a corner and seating was getting limited.  Our food hadn't arrived yet.  A young woman came in with an infant and when asked if a table for two was alright she remarked that her mother and another child would be joining them.  I looked at my husband and said, "We should offer them this table.  They'll be really crowded otherwise."  Well, there wasn't alot of enthusiasm for the idea because my husband does not like to sit in the middle of a restaurant when it's crowded.  But I offered the table to the young woman and was so glad I did.  Her look of astonishment was quickly followed by a hearty grin of gratitude.  And it worked out perfectly for the kids and adults.  Making someone else's life a bit easier was gratifying.  It was fun too!

I have a bumper sticker on my car that says, "Bark Less.  Wag More."  Wouldn't the world be a more relaxed and happy place if we all did that?  Ah well,

life goes on.

It's Official!

Well,  no surprise really.  The doctor verified that my cholesterol is up again.  So that makes the diet and exercise "thing" a top priority.  Sounds like a lot of people, huh?

A friend and I were talking over coffee this morning (nonfat, sugar free, latte).  Not only does food taste good, if it's available we're likely to indulge in it.  Yeah, there's a history of compulsive eating in the family but that's really  no excuse.  Especially when I can say--beyond a shadow of a doubt that my mom's battle with obesity came from exactly that. 

One of the disciplines we are planning to explore in the new class at church is fasting.  Fasting isn't a popular idea these days.  Gee--let me think about that  for a couple of seconds!  Still, one aspect of the discipline that intrigues me is a line offered by another person organizing the class:  When you are fasting and hunger becomes a conscious thought, when you would normally reach for food reach instead for God and let him fill you up.  That can definitely be pared down to:  When eating becomes a conscious thought.....  And this reminds me of yet another author and book:  Made To Crave:  Satisfying Your Deepest Desire With God, Not Food by Lysa Terkeurst.  She also has a book of devotions on the subject. 

So where is all this going?

I've been struggling some with spiritual issues for awhile now and cannot help but believe that taking care of my whole being means treating the body, mind, and soul.  On a daily basis, with intention. 

Living with depression  is a reality for me.  Genetics and chemistry.  Living better through chemicals is one aspect of my life not likely to change.  So it's often difficult for me to really "grab and go" on ideas/activities and the like even when my enthusiasm is high.   This time of year especially it is dreadfully easy to sink into that "Oh, I just don't feel like it" mood."  So I remind myself, over and over and over, that I need to kick myself in the proverbial butt and get going.  Thank goodness that I am blessed with a wise and empathetic friend who will keep me straight (when I allow her inside my shell).  Another issue.

First weigh-in is tomorrow.  If I haven't dropped a pound I will be very disappointed!  But,

life goes on.

Mid-January!

Good Grief!  Tomorrow is January 13th already.  Time does fly.

It's been an odd couple of days.  We actually had some snow yesterday morning (not in the forecast) and today I was driving home with blue skies and sunshine to accompany me as the weatherman on the radio said we were going to have a mostly cloudy day.  Do they ever check outside their windows?

A friend and I "share" a personal trainer at the gym for a session once a week.  We both got the "eating better" lecture Thursday and I can't say it wasn't deserved.  Add that to having a blood draw for a doctor's appointment coming up Tuesday and I will probably be in very deep doodoo.  I had managed to get my cholesterol down some last time, but minor surgery on a toe stopping my momentum in exercising and the holiday season (burp!) I'm sure have not been helpful in keeping it down.  In fact, I fear that it will be up again...  So once again I'll be telling the doctor that I really can get back on  track, get it down again, and keep it down.

The kicker?  Eating is so much fun! 

My husband watches Dr. Oz nearly every day and one of his "top 13" ideas for losing weight included a computer/phone app called "My Fitness Pal."  The trainer at the gym said, "good idea!" so it's on my phone now--which automatically syncs with the computer, of course.  (Feeling my age--I remember when the word was "sink" and it had nothing to do with electronics!)  At any rate, while the app is good for tracking both food and activity it has been very disheartening to find out just how caloric so many of our foods are.  BUMMER.

If I don't exercise,  it hardly takes anything at all to hit my target calorie count for the day.  BUMMER.

On the plus side, while cycling at the gym the other day I had a chance to start on Anne Lamott's book "Help, Thanks, Wow--the Three Essential Prayers."  It's going to be a good read and already has me curious about a prayer by Thomas Merton that she begins to quote and then says, "you can look it up for yourself."  So I will, sometime soon.  In the meantime,

life goes on.

You Gotta Do It Sometime!

And what is that we gotta do?  Housework!  Not my favorite thing.  Not my husband's favorite thing either.  But we share the load and usually get it done in a morning.  And that's what we did today.  So we're done with it for at least a week.  Yahoo!  Also got the laundry done. 

And though I'm not supposed to let anyone know, my hubbie is a very nice guy and helps out a lot around the house.  I'm grateful for that!

Balanced the checking account, paid bills, a kept at getting my office cleaned up.  Got to see a friend briefly for a few games of Banagrams.  (One of our favorites!) 

Managed to bicycle for an hour at the gym today.  Didn't do too badly on the eating plan...

So life goes on...

Monday, not a fun day

Well, my husband had an endoscopy and a colonoscopy this morning which made for an interesting day.  He's easy to take care of for the most part.  His first request was for a cup of coffee with cream, thank you!  He slept for quite awhile after that.  He was glad to get it over with--though he was not pleased with the results and necessity of repeating one of the tests.  Won't know more until the 22nd.    Ah well.  Baked potatoes with various toppings seemed to settle fairly well in his stomach this evening.  I'm making chicken soup tomorrow.

One of the member's of my spiritual caregiver's group is Buddhist.  She offers meditation at her home several times a week and I'm going to give it a try tomorrow.  She says, "if you'd like to learn more about meditation or just want to center yourself before or after a challenging time, let me know, and we'll work out something."  The phrase "before or after a challenging time" caught my attention.  There are so many things challenging me right now--and the thought of just stopping to clear my mind and listen seems like a good idea.  I tend to send a lot of "arrow" prayers heavenward; would like to be more intentional about prayer and meditation.  Fran's an interesting person and seems pleased that I'm showing up tomorrow.  Will see how it goes.

In the meantime, life goes on.

Epiphany

It is Epiphany today.  The end of Christmas--and it's truly amazing how few people know  that the twelve days of Christmas actually begin on Christmas Day and extend to Epiphany....

My husband is on a fast and cleansing for a medical test tomorrow morning so I've been hanging about the house and helping him out as I can.  I remember this process all too well and have a great deal of sympathy for him today.  We'll both be glad when it's over!

There is much filing to be done, but I daresay that it just sounds plain BORING.  Guess I did too much of it during my working life.  Still, some progress has been made in my room (even some shredding).  Slow but steady.

A bit down today.  Music at church a highlight for me as usual--but other parts of life a tad on the sad side.

Life goes on....

Words of Wisdom

In a previous life, around fifteen years ago or so, I worked at a combination quilt/gift shop.  The pay was horrid but we got great discounts on merchandise (fabric!).  So I acquired a wooden frame for Lang calendars--you buy a new calendar every year to put in the frame.  Lang calendars are available in lots of places--even Costco these days.  I usually get something like "Songirds", "Country Seasons", or "Flowers."

This year, when I went to scout out a calendar for the frame I wasn't very impressed with the selection at Barnes and Noble or CraftWarehouse.  So I wandered off to the temporary game/calendar shop in the mall to check out their selection.  And there it was--a new calendar by Mary Englebreit who happens to be one of my all-time favorite artists.  I'm familiar with most of her art so was pleasantly surprised to see some of her work that was new to me.  The theme of the calendar is "Step by Step" with each month having a great illustration and interesting message.

January - Girl in room looking at a close door.  "Doors are everywhere.  Open them."
February - Girl gazing up at Cupid while her dog is looking the other direction.
                 "Follow your heart but take your brain with you."
March - A young traveler at a crossroads.  "Choose Happiness."
April - A women sitting in a garden.  "The birds they sing at break of day.  Start again!!
                                                               I hear them say."
May - A women standing by a wall with a road in the distance.  "The question isn't who is
                                                          going to let me.  It's who is going to stop me."
June - A gnome building a castle on a tree stump.  "You are never too old to set another goal or
                               dream another dream."  Attributed to C.S. Lewis
July - Two trapeze artists swinging toward each other.  "Only Connect"
August - A young girl standing in front of a blank canvas.  "Begin Anywhere."
September - A variety of people holding lanterns.  "Let us all light one anothers' way."
October - People running from three monsters sitting around a table.  "Too many people go
                              through life running from something that isn't after them."
November - A driver in a yellow toy convertible driving on the sidewalk.  "Go Man!"
December - A young woman reading a book titled "LIFE."
                        "Instructions:  1.  Put one foot in front of the other.  2.  Repeat."

What an interesting assortment of messages.  And especially apropos as I'm wrestling with a decision on whether to do something or not.  It's been in the back of my mind for a couple of years now and I had just once again put the topic on the back burner so to speak.  Less than a month after "back burning" the topic it was raised totally unexpectedly during a meeting I was attending at church.   So.....
the door may be opening...  now what?

I'm thinking of an interesting article on advice that I read several years ago.  The author was disappointed when she asked her art teacher if she should major in art at college.  She was hoping for an encouraging answer (I'm sure!).  The answer she got was, "The years will go by no matter what you do."  True--but she felt cheated by the answer until she realized that it was up to her to decide if she would regret one decision over another after a few years had passed.

I'm not sure exactly where I'm trying to go with this.  But no matter what,

life goes on....

Details, Details, Details

Yes, I'm trying to get my space straightened up.  Piles of filing abound--but I'm making some headway.  If I do it in bits at a time is almost bearable.  The hope is that I'll get better organized and come up with a system to help me find those things I put in "really safe" places and then can't remember where I put them! 

Today I also bought a replacement for the mixer (30+ years old) that decided to stop working when I last was baking cookies for church.  The new one (basic Black and Decker, not too expensive) worked wonderfully this evening as I made some treats for a birthday gathering tomorrow.  Rich will also enjoy the pistachio biscotti.  He doesn't like chocolate so the girls will have plenty of the raspberry chocolate brownies tomorrow.  Both recipes were from the "Flat Belly Cookbook" so they are terribly bad....

I finally finished one of the books I'm reading for the United Methodist Women (UMW) reading plan.  This one is by Megan McKenna; This will be Remembered of Her, Stories of Women Reshaping the World.  At first I didn't feel much of a "pull" from it and considered setting it aside.  It got more interesting though.  The end had me enthralled.  So many emotions as I read it--frustration, sorrow, anger, hopelessness, admiration for the subject women, gratitude that there are women willing to do whatever it takes to change their world, appreciation for McKenna's research and writing.  One of her questions is especially intriguing:  "What if the original sin is fratricide (Cain and Abel), and the original story (Adam and Eve) tells us that there are certain rules one must break in order to become more fully human, and that choosing what will lead us to wholeness involves reaching for wisdom, though there are consequences?" 

Two more quotes from the book that I want to remember:

Holy Wisdom in your power, hold us fast in every hour.
Enclose us in your threefold wings spreading to embrace all things.
One pierces heaven's heights above, another touches earth with love.
The other moves with tender care in mystery through the cosmic air.
Holy Wisdom in your power, enlighten us in every hour.
                                                               --Hildegard of Bingen


And what do you plan on doing with your one wild and precious life?
                                                               --Mary Oliver, "The Summer Day"


Coincidence fascinates me.  I happened to find a book of poetry by Mary Oliver deeply discounted last year and gave a copy to a good friend this Christmas.  (Kept one for myself as well.)  And low and behold! Mary Oliver speaks to me out of some current reading.

And it is a very good question indeed....

Happy New Year!

For the last three days I have been under the (mistaken) impression that there was something wrong with my internet.  Couldn't get anything to come up in either of the two browsers I use.  Early this morning I tried again, in the (silly) hope that maybe things would work in the early a.m.  Ha!

So, upstairs to my lair where I futzed with wires, connections, and locations.  And, believe it or not!, I probably have only myself to blame for moving some wires around a few days ago.  Isn't technology humbling?

So, we're off on a new year.  Many of my friends and I are hoping for less drama and more contentment in 2013.  Actually, that would be a good thing for everyone...

Life goes on...